Stress and My Weekend Away

This last week has been crazy. I got my “fill” on Tuesday and was on the post fill diet. For some reason this really bothered me this time. I could tell something was going on with my blood sugars. I just felt shaky and “icky”. On Wednesday, I decided to up my sugars some and have a high protein hot chocolate (made with my yummy candy cane hot chocolate from when I was trying to increase my calories after surgery).

With the hot chocolate, I would have been fine with my calories – just a little high on the white carbs. However, I didn’t do that. I grabbed the can of hot chocolate mix and a spoon…. And then did it again the next day. Between the two days I had probably 3-4 servings of high sugar hot chocolate. It didn’t kill my diet, but this was the first time I gave into my former bad habits and it was just too easy. It was a reminder of how easy it was to gain all the weight back in the past.

Along with a case of the “icks”, late last week I also started feeling really stressed  and started my period. I am certain the 3 were interconnected and honestly it sucked. On a side note - I can’t believe my body has already started to regulate itself into somewhat regular cycles. For those of you who don’t know Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) typically greatly upsets someone’s cycle (sometimes you only get a few a year – maybe less). I am not used to this emotional crap anymore. Plus stress usually causes my sugars to drop – not including what a high carb “mushy” diet can do… grr…

Anyways… thanks to my increase in stress I was not looking to attending my dad’s family’s belated Christmas party. We always meet at a hotel during the beginning of January. There were several reasons I didn’t want to go. First I didn’t think I was emotionally up to the drama that always occurs. Plus I really didn’t want anyone to know about the surgery or to ask me about it. I know my uncle heard about it, but my dad told him he was wrong. I will probably tell them someday, but I just wasn’t ready for it.

I felt like I was spaced out during part of the time, but I had a pretty good time. The most stressful part was the food. They had so much food I couldn’t eat…soooo muchhhh… My mom brought things that I could eat and so did I so I stuck pretty much to that part of the food line. I tried not to even look at the rest (but who could miss the cookies, cupcakes, potato chips…). It was hard. I thought I was going to cry when I saw the fudge (which I didn’t see until I moved a lid out of my way.. .grr…)

It showed me that I really really need some restriction to do things long term, but overall I think I did really good. Cheese, meat and a broccoli salad was what I stuck too with no trips to the other side of the food tables. I also brought some almonds and a protein bar since I skipped meals in my rush to get there. Over the whole night I probably had more than I should have, but not by much.

Strangely enough, the easiest part for me “food wise” was when we went out to breakfast. We went to Cracker Barrel and they had plenty of options for me. I ended up getting one egg and a piece of turkey sausage with 2 biscuits. I gave one of my biscuits away and ate part of the other one (hollowed out) with sugar free jam.

The bad part was I really stuck out. Mine was so much smaller than everyone else’s. Most people had twice the food I had PLUS grits, sausage gravy, hashbrowns or twice what I had PLUS three plate size pancakes. You get the picture. I stuck out. Now, nobody noticed my weight loss (which I was glad for), but they did notice my very “small” plate. Someone even asked if I was counting calories. I just simply said yep and I am about a third of the way to my goal.

When they asked if I was doing a special diet I had to smile. I had prepared what I was going to say ahead of time and so I was easily able to explain that I was insulin resistant so with the help of my doctor I am doing a higher protein lower carb plan (not low carb mind you). I felt great. I had gotten over one of my big fears and it was a piece of cake.

Now that all of that is over, I have started this week off right. I am back to regular meals and exercise. Luckily, I am not much of a stress eater so except for the hot chocolate I didn't really "overeat" last week.  I just didn't follow the plan (ie. skipped meals, didn't balance my protein and carbs...). Hopefully, in the next few days things will get back to normal body wise and I will start losing weight again. So far I have “only” lost 2 lbs this month and the lose, gain, lose, gain, lose pattern of my weigh this month has been slightly distressing. I know it is normal, but I normally don’t bounce so much and I just can’t wait to start moving again. I have to remind myself that it is only the 11th and 2lbs in less than two weeks is good!

Yes this journey is a challenge...