October Update

I know it has been a while since I have updated, but I wanted to let everyone know that I am still here. I am struggling (and failing) to keep up with everything, but I am here.


A lot has happened since I updated last including the fact that I completed my half marathon!!!! (read more here). I honestly never truly thought that I would be able to do this. It was hard, but even though I lost a little enthusiasm at the end I am a completely different person now. It is hard to explain, but I notice little things all the time that have changed in my life. I find myself doing things I thought of as too hard before. I push my physical limits - or what I have perceived as my limits. It is almost like after doing the impossible (running a half) my mind has been opened to the possibilities. Think about it. After running 13.1 miles it is hard to say 2 miles on the elliptical, a 5 mile walk to Wal-mart, or the dreaded stepper is too hard.

On the home side I am almost out of my house. I have literally been at my house maybe 5 days this month between travel for work and house sitting at my parents. I was really gramma sitting since she lives across the street from them and needs extra help. I had to respond to two lifeline calls when I was there including one in the middle of the night involving lots of blood. We also had several nursing visits, physical therapy, and speech theory while I was there. Combine that with the normal things like grocery shopping and it was a crazy couple of weeks. I am not sure how my mom does it everyday. She is amazing!

Also my parents think they have found “the” house. In reality, there are two of them that they like so if the negotiations go well they might be out by Christmas !! That will mean I might be fully moved into my new house (their current house) by the New Year!! Starting Monday I will be living at my grandmother’s until they move out. This happened much faster than we ever thought it would. I feel kind of silly being a 30-something woman living with my grandmother, but oh well.

On the band side I had .5 ccs removed the week before the race. I was having some acid reflux and with my pre-race nutrition requirements it wasn’t worth struggling with the band and risking harming it – or not getting the nutrition I needed to run. I finally got half of it back in this Tuesday and hopefully this works for me. My body just doesn’t like restriction – I either have too much or too little. I don’t seem to have a sweet spot. My doctor is ok with this of course. He pointed out that I have lost 93 pounds with my band being in the background, but dang it is hard sometimes.

My appointment with the doctor gave me a chance to talk about goals with him. In the past, he had set my goal at 180 – just under obese. (I set my goal 5lbs under his) He doesn’t remember that and says that I hit his goal months ago. According to him, I am healthy and have been a healthy weight for while. Which is what he truly wants. The BMI chart is not correct for me – surprise surprise. BUT, I am not done. I agree that I am healthy and that an addition loss probably won’t do much healthy wise, but I know I can lose more.

Thankfully he agrees I can lose more, because trying to get fills could get really tough if he disagreed. But he doesn’t want to put a number on it. He says I should just live life and listen to my body. My body will tell me how many calories I need and when I have hit a good weight. Which I guess I agree with - kind of. Weight loss shouldn’t be my focus anymore, but dang I really just be done with the weight loss portion of this journey. I want to get to my final weight NOW, know what size I will be, invest in some good clothes and enter into maintenance mode. Patience is not my strong suit if you can’t tell!!

Ninety Pounds!!

After complaining last week about how slowly I was losing my scale shocked me this weekend with a 2 pound loss! The previous 2 pounds took 4 weeks to come off so surprised just doesn’t fully explain what I felt. I thought it was a fluke – maybe a little dehydration, but even after endless eating on Sunday (or so it seemed) the number stuck. So that means I am now 90 pounds down!! Wooohooo!!!!!

 That means as of today I am:

• 7 lbs under my health insurance coach’s goal of 192 (BMI under 32)
• 5 lbs from my Doc’s goal of 180 (BMI under 30)
• 10 lbs from my personal goal of 175 (first goal)

I have struggled seeing the changes the last 10 pounds have made – probably since it has come off so much slower. When I saw my trainer last week (for the first time in a little over 2 months) she complimented me on how good I looked. I laughed and said that I really hadn’t lost much. She looked at me funny and halfway through the training she mentioned that I had to have lost more weight and pointed out how “skinny” my arms were. Also, the other day the puppy and I made a trip to the pet store – we go at least once a week to “socialize”. (Mollie LOVES it). I wondered why nobody came up and said hi to Mollie and I until we were checking out. After the cashier heard me call Mollie she took as second look and asked me if I changed my hair or something b/c she didn’t recognize me at first. I laughed and figured that I must normally have my hair pulled back when I go. That was until Sunday.

Sunday I looked in the mirror and felt that something was “off”. Throughout the day I kept glancing in the mirror trying to figure out what that something was. It wasn’t even a conscious thing at first. I just kept doing it and wondered why I felt “funny” when I saw myself. It is hard to explain. It was like when you have a something on the tip of your tongue but you can’t remember what that something was. That nagging feeling kept drawing me back to the mirror.

After probably a dozen (or two) long glances in the mirror I realized that somewhere along these last 10 pounds something big changed in my face. And it just isn’t the fact that it is more narrow (although it is!). It is also the depth of my features. It is hard to see in photos, but my cheekbones, nose, eyes all look different b/c they are more prominent. I wish I had a good “before” side shot to show you so you could see the difference since it is really obvious when you see me in profile. Honestly I think most of the 10 pounds that I lost has been in my face and shoulders. Probably why I still can’t wear my size 12s!

Speaking of shoulders – after one of my runs I was looking in the mirror and thought the muscles in my shoulders were in knots. There was these huge bumps sticking out in my back and since I have been having so much back pain I reached back to see if I could rub the knot out. Well I could easily reach it, but it wasn’t muscle it was BONE. I almost died laughing.

I will post my regular update pictures soon, but here are some charts of my journey these last 10 months.



My Weight Loss and Trend



My forecast to my 1 year mark - I have to lose at least 1.25 lbs/wk to hit my goal

Here are my month losses

A historial view of my weight since High School

Paying it Forward

Now that everyone is back in Blog world (I so wish I could have gone to Chicago!!) could you do me a favor?  Stop by and say hi to Janet at "That's How I Roll".  She was banded in July and is dealing with the endless hunger that we all get before we find our sweet spot. 

Post it Note Tuesday

Join me for Post It Note Tuesday by going here: http://wigflip.com/superstickies/

Long Distance Running vs. Weight Loss

Six months ago when I first put my idea of being a runner on paper (or online) it didn’t seem real. I knew that I would at least finish the 5K I had registered for, but the half marathon I wrote about – well I never thought it would happen. First, I didn’t think I would be able to physically do it. My knees had hurt for years due to repeated injuries while in high school. A year ago I could barely walk some days because the bottoms of my feet would hurt so bad (plantar fasciitis I believe). Second, well I just didn’t think I would do it. In the back of my mind I “knew” I would find some excuse to not embarrass myself. I could barely run a single mile at that point and here I was planning on running 13.1.

The first day of my training came and our group placement run was held. Like I said before I came in last. Ok I knew I would be in the slowest group, but I was not prepared on how much slower I would be. The next week we ran 4 miles and I thought I would die. As the weeks went on and our miles got higher I learned a lot about myself.

I learned that I could actually run the distance with the right training. I learned what training worked well for me (Galloway’s method). I learned how to stick up for myself (who thought I really needed to learn that!) and to make sure I got what I need to succeed. I learned how to properly fuel and hydrate before and during a run.

What I also learned is that weight loss and long distance running don’t go hand and hand. I was warned by several people before I began training that my weight loss would slow down and probably stop - if not increase by a few pounds. I mentally heard them and understood the whys, but just like becoming a runner didn’t seem real neither did plateauing because I was running double digit miles.

Well the fact is that it is happening. I lost 4 pounds in June, but then lost 7 in July. I figured June was a fluke. August came and I lost 4 pounds again. However since the 3rd week of August I have lost 2 pounds. 2 pounds in 4 weeks and honestly those 2 pounds rarely show up on the scale. Most days I am up 1-2 pounds. Today I am up almost three from my all time low of 187.

Every week since the last week of August has been a race or long run – a 10 mile race, a 10k race, a 10 mile practice run, and a 13.1 practice run. I am eating more – especially more carbs. I am eating less than I burn so I would expect a consistent decrease, but of course it doesn’t work that way (or so EVERYONE told me). This has been a little hard for me to deal with. I feel like I am doing so much work with little results. My rational mind understands, but in the back of my mind just thinks I should be able to do both. Before my 10 mile practice last week I decided not to eat the same way I was. It wasn’t a fully thought out conscious idea. It was more instinctive and emotional.

What a stupid idea. I had to be driven back at the 7 mile mark. I completely ran out of energy. The world was spinning and I couldn’t think. I was so ticked at myself! I realized at that point that on race day I will be obese. There is no out of it. I hate it! I have come so far, but will still have that label when they do my post race health check. There is even the chance that by doing this running I may not reach my 100 pound goal by my 1 year mark. I only have 2 months to go and I still have 12 pounds to go. Even if I am able to lose another pound during the last two weeks of my training (and that is questionable) I would have 11 pounds to lose in 6 weeks. Doable yes, but not a guarantee - especially with the chaos in my life.

This was hard to come to grips with. I still haven’t fully accepted it. But what I learned this Saturday during my 13.1 practice run is that this is fully worth it. I may not reach my goal in regards to weight (at least not at the date I wanted), but I have reached and surpassed one of my wildest dreams. I am a half marathoner!

Thousand Word Thursday

Here is my contribution to Amy's Thousand Word Thursday. The topic for the week is:  Let's celebrate our own beauty and how wonderful we all look with a photo of your favorite feature.

This was a hard one for me since I see my body as a work in progress. Plus I recently dropped enough weight to put me back in that "spongy" category. You know that spot after you lose some weight and before your skin tightens back up. It has happened several times so far during this journey (especially after a big drop in body fat) and so far my body is able to compensate after a few weeks of sponginess.

So of course the legs I loved last week don’t look as firm as they did. Neither does my chin or arms, but I know it is just a phase and I am trying really hard not to let it bug me. But finding a “favorite feature” became a little depressing today. Until I remembered the recent dresses I have been wearing and the great neck line that appeared from under my tanks and t-shirts.

This picture isn’t the best, but it is amazing how much definition I am getting in my upper chest area. I have even got compliments - of all the strange places to compliment :) The little peak of collar bones (they won’t ever jump out, but that is the way I am built), the defined neck, and a growing set of shoulder and neck muscles combined with a “sprinkle” of freckles makes me smile.  And yes I know that sprinkle is an understatement. I tell people I don’t tan my freckles just meld together ;p

Crim 10 Mile!

If you haven't checked it out yet I updated my running blog with details about my race this weekend.  It was a great experience and I actually can't wait to do it again! I am still a little sore mostly when I do stairs, but nothing that a couple days of rest won't cure.  Here are a couple highlights:

Yes that says I burned 4215 calories!!!  No wonder I am so hungry still. 

Me after 10 miles!  And honestly at this point I could have kept going.  It wasn't until I had stopped for a while that my feet start to burn.  Later on my knees and shins were sore, but a trip in the hot tub and some bengay made every thing better.  This morning I felt great, but after a day of sitting my quads are reminding me to move! 

I will post a couple more pics when I get them, but now on to the Brooksie Half Marathon!!!