October Update

I know it has been a while since I have updated, but I wanted to let everyone know that I am still here. I am struggling (and failing) to keep up with everything, but I am here.


A lot has happened since I updated last including the fact that I completed my half marathon!!!! (read more here). I honestly never truly thought that I would be able to do this. It was hard, but even though I lost a little enthusiasm at the end I am a completely different person now. It is hard to explain, but I notice little things all the time that have changed in my life. I find myself doing things I thought of as too hard before. I push my physical limits - or what I have perceived as my limits. It is almost like after doing the impossible (running a half) my mind has been opened to the possibilities. Think about it. After running 13.1 miles it is hard to say 2 miles on the elliptical, a 5 mile walk to Wal-mart, or the dreaded stepper is too hard.

On the home side I am almost out of my house. I have literally been at my house maybe 5 days this month between travel for work and house sitting at my parents. I was really gramma sitting since she lives across the street from them and needs extra help. I had to respond to two lifeline calls when I was there including one in the middle of the night involving lots of blood. We also had several nursing visits, physical therapy, and speech theory while I was there. Combine that with the normal things like grocery shopping and it was a crazy couple of weeks. I am not sure how my mom does it everyday. She is amazing!

Also my parents think they have found “the” house. In reality, there are two of them that they like so if the negotiations go well they might be out by Christmas !! That will mean I might be fully moved into my new house (their current house) by the New Year!! Starting Monday I will be living at my grandmother’s until they move out. This happened much faster than we ever thought it would. I feel kind of silly being a 30-something woman living with my grandmother, but oh well.

On the band side I had .5 ccs removed the week before the race. I was having some acid reflux and with my pre-race nutrition requirements it wasn’t worth struggling with the band and risking harming it – or not getting the nutrition I needed to run. I finally got half of it back in this Tuesday and hopefully this works for me. My body just doesn’t like restriction – I either have too much or too little. I don’t seem to have a sweet spot. My doctor is ok with this of course. He pointed out that I have lost 93 pounds with my band being in the background, but dang it is hard sometimes.

My appointment with the doctor gave me a chance to talk about goals with him. In the past, he had set my goal at 180 – just under obese. (I set my goal 5lbs under his) He doesn’t remember that and says that I hit his goal months ago. According to him, I am healthy and have been a healthy weight for while. Which is what he truly wants. The BMI chart is not correct for me – surprise surprise. BUT, I am not done. I agree that I am healthy and that an addition loss probably won’t do much healthy wise, but I know I can lose more.

Thankfully he agrees I can lose more, because trying to get fills could get really tough if he disagreed. But he doesn’t want to put a number on it. He says I should just live life and listen to my body. My body will tell me how many calories I need and when I have hit a good weight. Which I guess I agree with - kind of. Weight loss shouldn’t be my focus anymore, but dang I really just be done with the weight loss portion of this journey. I want to get to my final weight NOW, know what size I will be, invest in some good clothes and enter into maintenance mode. Patience is not my strong suit if you can’t tell!!