Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off to Work I Go

Today was day two of going back to work. It feels good to be back working after a month, but holey moley did I have a lot of emails to go through. It took me a good day go through everything. My projects have fallen behind schedule, but luckily it wasn’t my teams fault. In fact, they did me proud while I was gone and the quality of work was sooo good.
Unsurprisingly, the project manager sent out some emails to my boss about how my team was over budget and the project was late. What he didn’t mention is that we are actually under budget in total $ and hours, just over on the contractor dollars – and that was APPROVED by him since he added things to the project and wanted us to push as much to the contractors as possible so we could start the next (higher priority) project. Plus, the major reason we are behind is because of late customer testing. Grrr…

My team is great, but being contractors (and from another country) they won’t tell the PM he is wrong. I don’t have that problem  I was once told that the reason I was hired into one of my roles is because I am not unwilling to challenge the status quo. Blaming the outside team (my team) on the project is just so easy and PMs do that so much it drives me crazy.

On the weight front things have been going so-so. I have only weighed myself once since hitting the 250 mark. I can tell I am not losing as quickly (or at all) and I don’t want to focus on the number. I know that in the end I am losing fat. I HAVE to be since I am eating under 1100 calories everyday. I am not cheating and I am measuring and recording everything – even though the idea of cheating (and not recording it) has popped into my mind several times a day.

I am technically on “soft foods” (semi-mushies), but could eat ANYTHING. But I don’t. I am sticking to my ½ to 1 cup meals and they do fill me up – for about a half an hour or maybe longer. Once I get hungry again I start drinking - 2-3 cups of crystal light or something similar. Then when I get hungry again I have my next snack. Strangely enough I still am not getting all my calories in. I think it is because I am still on soft foods. I am trying to avoid the high fat and simple carbs (which seems to be most mushies) and getting 1100 calories is good for me. I am hoping that once I get to solid foods I will get my calories in easier. Strange thing is that when I was eating 600-800 calories a day I wasn’t hungry. Go figure!!

I am guessing that some of this is “head hunger” or “mouth hunger”. It has been almost 6 weeks since eating fast food. 6 weeks since splurging and eating to I am “full” (read overstuffed). I think my mind might be hitting a block even though I am doing better on my eating.

Got to run to my support group. Talk to you guys later!