BYOC

Ok.  Two posts in one day, but I know if I postpone this I will never get it up.  I keeping planning on doing these posts, but always get caught up and forget. This time Drazil threw me a curve ball and included a question about Sex in the City. Since I have only caught a few minutes here and there I had to do a little research before I could post, but here it is:

1. If you could be a flower, which one would it be and why?

If I had to pick a flower I would say the Lotus Flower. I love its relative the water lily, but the meaning behind the lotus is powerful to me right now. The Lotus flower is regarded in many different cultures as a symbol of enlightenment and rebirth. It rises from the dirtiest waters and produces a beautiful flower. I want this for myself.

2. Which Sex and The City Character do you most relate to?

Ok. Like I said I had to research the characters a little before I could answer, but I would have to say Charlotte. I am a complete romantic and still hope to find my Prince Charming someday. (but I guess that means I have to start looking again). I am pretty conservative and traditional, but with occasional bursts of craziness. I find it kind of funny that nobody sees this craziness in me. In fact, when I mentioned to a former high school classmate (I worked with her during college) that I found it funny that nobody believed I got a tattoo she thought told people I did it just for that. Ummm… you are not so important that I would actually do something so permanent just to get your reaction, but I do think you should look under the surface some time. I digress…

3. If you had a crystal ball or could know one thing about the future - what would it be?

This is an easy one – what will the lottery numbers be next week. An extra 100 million would come in very handy.

4. What's your biggest fear in your weight loss journey?

That I will be one of the people that I see in our support group meetings that have gained all their weight back. This is a HUGE fear and there is nothing I can do about it now – which is even scarier. I am trying to make this a lifestyle change, but who knows what life will be like in a couple years. I don’t ever want to go back to where I was.

5. Repeat question: Whose blog or comment spoke to you the most this week and why?

I have to say there were many very good blogs out there this week, but this week two really spoke to me.

Susieq4givn  discovered restriction this week and also reached her 70 pound mark. It is so strange to read her blog b/c sometimes I could copy it into my own. We both started at about the same weight, both just hit the 70 pound mark and both recently discovered restriction and found that we love it. It is nice to know that you are not alone in this battle and that someone else is there with you (at the same stage that is). What was even better was that she hit these milestones a few days before me. I didn’t think I was going to make it and her blog reminded me that my time will come.

Another blog that helped this week was Cara’s. She reached her 1 year mark this week and has lost over 80 pounds. She looks so great!!! It is nice to see someone so close to their goal in a year.  It helps keep me going!

70 pounds!!!

Honestly, I just can’t believe it, 70 pounds down – no 70.5 pounds down and 29.5 to go. TWENTY something to go! Unbelievable! 6 months (and one week) ago I woke up from surgery thinking I had made a huge mistake. I mean what if it didn’t work? What if I failed… again… Two weeks ago I was really starting to get discouraged. My band didn’t “work” yet and I was hitting my limits. I had thought of taking a little “break” from it all – which is a huge warning sign for me.

I am sooo glad that my band is now working! I have restriction – not ideal, but enough for now. I am learning to eat like a “good bandster” again and although I routinely take too big of bites or forget to chew it feels great. I still get hungry a little too soon and sometimes I can eat more than I should, but most of the time the band is there helping. I am not hungry 24/7 and don’t think about food all day. It is WONDERFUL!!

Now that my band is working I feel like I have gotten a second wind. I have lost 5.5 pounds in the 1.5 weeks which is more than the prior 4 weeks combined. Hopefully, I can keep this progress up, but I have noticed that burning 2400 calories a day is starting to get very hard. For some reason the last 5 pounds made a huge difference in my burn. But I am starting the training for the half marathon in a couple weeks so I expect to get some help from that. I also get a few free passes to the university gym so I may try that out again. It will help me decide if I want to get an alumni membership or not in the fall (since that is when the exercise classes start up again).

I will leave you today with a few pictures and my measurements (click to see the bigger). Honestly, I really haven’t lost many inches in the last 20 pounds for some strange reason so it is hard to see the differences between today and the last picture, but between today and when I started… it is just AMAZING to me!!
 

 

 

Who am I??

I was reading a book that my NP gave me during last month’s support group meeting “The Real Skinny on Weight Loss Surgery”. It was ok, but focused mostly on bypass sugery. However, one thing really spoke to me. One of the authors was talking about how after losing the weight she did something she always wanted to do – play softball with her friends. After the game she was really glad she did it, but she decided that it wasn’t what she wanted to do anymore. She had much more fun watching the game and talking with the fans.

The point was that the “little victories” we experience along the way aren’t milestones back to who we were, but instead stepping stones to who we are becoming. We may or may not like the same things that we liked years ago. Most of us are much older than we were when we were “skinny” and we have gone through many experiences that have shaped us into different people.

For myself, the last time I was my goal weight I was in middle school. My biggest concern ironically was my weight. I can remember not going downhill skiing during one of our field trips b/c you had to put your weight on the signup sheet. I can remember being scared to death of joining the high school marching band b/c you had to get sized for your uniform (but I didn’t let it stop me this time). I can remember one of the boys standing up in class and singing “I like big butts…” when watching me walk across the screen on the tape of a band concert (and he didn’t mean it in a good way). My weight defined what I did and what I didn’t do.

I struggled with the idea that I my goal was that same weight (or even a little less). I struggled with the idea that the same concerns were going to be there, but on an adult scale. After reading this book I realized that I am not going back to the me I was before. I may end up the same weight, but I am a completely different person. Yes I knew that I am not an 8th grader anymore, but that wasn’t it. It was all the barriers that I remembered at that weight. All the things I didn’t do. All the things that held me back. It was partly the weight and partly the introversion and both got worse as I held myself back.

I have been that person for the last 19 years. As I have gotten older I have actually gone farther in my shell. I am not THAT person anymore. As I am going through this journey I am focusing on becoming a different me (thus the name of my blog). Not just a skinner me. I will still be me, but I will be a better and stronger me. I will eliminate the barriers in my life and slowly work on finding what things really make me ME.

Over the last few months I have been changing. There are things that I want to do now that I never wanted to do before (like run a 5k). There are also many things that I have wanted to do that I just wrote off thinking it just wouldn’t happen. I decided a couple days ago to start writing them down. I am going to focus on the physical things I want to do now, but someday I will add more. After I do these things I may find that I never want to do them again – just like the author now knows she doesn’t want to play softball. BUT they are things that I want to experience. Things that will help me figure out what I really want to become.

So here is my list so far. I have placed it on the side of my blog and will add to it as I go along.

• Parasailing
• Half Marathon
• Rock Climbing
• A High Ropes Course
• Whitewater rafting/kayaking
• An official 5k - Done!
• An official 10k
• A Zip Line Course
• Sea Kayaking
• Ride a Motorcycle
• Attend a Retreat or Getaway Weekend

Bathing Suit Challenge and Weight Update

As many of you know the Memorial Day Bathing Suit Challenge ended this week. Even though this challenge was a competition between fellow bloggers I didn’t really think I had a good chance to win so I set up a personal goal for myself of 18lbs or roughly 8% - by Memorial Day. Yep I goofed and thought the challenge went one more week. In the back of my mind I really wanted to get to 199 by then (which according to my trend of weight loss could have been double), but I knew that was a big stretch.

As of yesterday, I lost 17.2 pounds or 7.68% of my starting body weight. About week 3 I thought for sure I was going to hit my stretch goal of 199, but after a month of barely squeaking out a pound a week I am very happy with my progress. I am going to unofficially extend the challenge an extra week just to fill out my chart and confirm to myself that I really hit my goal.

My current weight of 206.8 marks a huge milestone for me. This is the lowest official weight I have ever been in my adult life. In fact, the last time I was officially this weight was a few weeks before my 17th Birthday. I think I might have been lower than this once since then, but I don’t have any documentation on it and I am not really sure so I know if I was it wasn’t for very long. It is a really strange feeling to know that I am the same weight I was in High School.

Another thing I have noticed is that I have lost more weight with the band than any other weight loss attempt in my past – faster than ever too. That is of course what I expected, but when this whole process began I couldn’t help but think that it wouldn’t work out that way. I remember looking at the graph below several months ago and thinking that I was losing about the same as before and focusing on how fast I gained. Now I look and just think “Holey Crap!” Such a great feeling!!

5K Done!

This morning’s 5K went great! It was such fun and I can’t wait until the next one. It was a little hotter and much more humid that I was expecting and that I had practiced in, but overall things went great. I ended with a time of 49:17 – which was 10 minutes off my best practice time and 2 minutes of my stretch goal. I was thrilled. I think I could have pushed myself a little more, but I was getting a little too hot since I didn’t wear shorts (stupid me). Next time I will know better :)

I walked most of the race, but did add in about 25% of running. After the first half mile I was by myself which I thought was a little strange. I didn’t realize that the walkers split off of the group a little before that point and I couldn’t figure out why there weren’t more people at my pace. Especially since there were a lot of people that looked like they were at my fitness level at the starting line. I couldn’t figure out when all of them passed me and thought for sure I was going to end up being last – which was my biggest fear. Luckily, I knew there were at least 4 runners behind me and honestly that kept me very motivated.

I also noticed something strange and was wondering if any of the runners out there have experienced the same thing. I noticed about 1 mile into the walk that my hands were swelling up – enough to make the skin feel stretched. It continued through the race and when I crossed the finish line I almost passed out. It was almost like the blood started rushing suddenly and my hands immediately felt better. I am guessing that I must have been holding myself funny or something and after crossing the finish line I relaxed enough to let the blood flow fast again. It was a little strange, but I felt wonderful within a couple of minutes.

Thanks again for all your support!!

Dad’s Home!

My dad was release from the hospital this afternoon. After we left last night he took a turn for the worst and started going into a slight respiratory distress (slight according to him at least). They ended up putting him back on oxygen and a heart monitor. He also ended up with a bunch of breathing treatments, cathed, put on extra fluids and a bunch of iv meds. I guess they even put him on complete and total bed rest with those fancy leg massagers. He had a DVT almost 20 years ago so we guess that during the respiratory distress they worried about another blood clot.

Thankfully by the time we go there he was up and about – just in a lot of pain. After getting a “nice” cup of warm water with chicken bullion he somehow talked the nurse into getting him discharged before Dr. K checked on him. He was seen by the Dr. on call though so we weren’t worried. My dad just wanted food. Not sure what he was thinking he was going to be able to eat, but he kept saying that he hadn’t eaten in 3 days and wanted something like a meal – he of course got a bowl of creamy soup and was happy.

He has slept most of the day and seems to be doing great now so things are back on track. As of now I am planning on doing my 5k in the morning. Hopefully my mom will be able to make it and take a picture so I can post it for you guys. And since I just remembered my running clothes need to be washed still (crazy crazy weekend) I will check back with guys tomorrow! Thanks for all the support. My family really appreciates the thoughts!!

Update on Dad and my Restriction

Thanks for all the good wishes everyone. After a very long day my dad was admitted into the hospital for at least the night. It turns out he had a BIG hernia according to the doc and it took at lot to untangle it all and fix it. The surgery took at twice as long as planned, but everything went very well according to the dr. My dad had a few problems waking up from anesthesia – breathing and took about two hours to be able to accept vistors – which isn’t that unusual just a little long for a normal 20 minute band surgery.


When he finally was up and running he was sent down to xray for his swallow – which he failed. Dr. K was a little concerned because he decided to go with a Realize C band instead of the large LapBand since after fixing the hernia the band fit around his stomach easily. You could tell that Dr. K was beating himself up a little about that decision and the plan at that time was to admit Dad and watch over him during the weekend and then go back in a change bands if the swelling didn’t go down enough.

Turns out after Dr. K checked out the xray the band was actually fine!! The problem was actually with the fixed hernia. Tightening the muscle around the esophagus so the stomach would stay put caused a slight bend in the esophagus. The liquid was going through – just really really slowly. He still decided to admit my Dad just to make sure that things didn’t get worse, but hopefully he will be out early tomorrow.

The biggest problem of the day was all the waiting! We got there at 6:45 and my Dad was out of surgery by 11:00, but mom and I didn’t leave until almost 8pm – and he still didn’t have a room. We wanted to stay, but he kept telling us go and when it started to storm the nurses said that we should leave to get home before dark.

By then mom and I were ready to get out of there. Exhausted and Stressed to say the least. The nurses were funny in the beginning – especially when most of the patients were gone, but by the end it was just down right annoying. One of them even told my dad I had a “nice rack”. OMG! And when I asked a question about the pain meds (he hadn’t had any in over 8 hours) I was told to “shut up” and let my dad talk (he wasn’t trying to say anything btw – he also wasn’t with it so of course I would as a question). She said it in a joking way, but that isn’t the way to treat stressed family members.

As for my restriction – I woke up too tight this morning. I PB’ed my shake early this morning, but was able to get the rest down a little later. However, when I tried some mashed potatoes at lunch they came right back up. The dr kept asking me about it and after I told him how tight it was he said some had to come out. I was so upset. Not because some had to come out but because I pushed him to push it a little and it back fired. I didn’t want to inconvenience him because of my mistake (I could get liquids down at that point).

He was a little upset that I wasn’t going to ask for an unfill because of that. So a little later when my dad was in the bathroom he told me to get up on my dad’s bed and actually unfilled me right then and there – in post op between surgeries. I think he took about .25 ccs out, but said tomorrow when he checks on dad he can take more out if needed.

I feel sooo much better. I can actually eat food again – or at least mushies. I tried some French fries at Mickey D’s (a long story for another time) and they went down fine – until I stuffed my mouth and swallowed them practically whole (ok I wasn’t that bad, but close).

I am off to bed now and will post an update sometime tomorrow. Maybe I will even be able to read a couple more blogs, but how knows what tomorrow will bring. All I know for now is that I am really thankfully my dad made it out in pretty good shape. And thankfully for a great surgeon who worked a really long day (still doing surgeries at 6pm) and still took time to fix my band.